site logo
Bookmark and Share

Site Menu
Home Page
Funny Pictures
Funny Comics
Funny Video Clips
Funny Sound Clips
Funny Downloads
Funny Stories
Java Games
Flash Games
Game Cheats
Music Lyrics
Flash Cartoons
Word Searches
Useless Facts
Midi Music
Pun Archives
Quote Archives
Love Calculator
Insult Machine
Email Login/Signup
Outdated Content

Site/Web Search

This Content Is No Longer Updatesd
Week of May 5th to May 11th
These humour-scopes are updated weekly , on saturdays , to recieve a reminder to come and view them each week , join our mailing list.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Poit twoonie squaggle? Floon morble tid bubbu taha, hen? Hen?

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Excellent day to come up with new theories to explain the universe around you. Remember: the simplest explanation is usually the best. For example, most physicists today subscribe to the "Big Band" theory of the creation of the universe. I have an alternate theory that I prefer, which I call "Tuba Ensemble".

GEMINI (May 21-June 20):A person of Irish descent will attempt to sell you something you don't especially want, today. Strive to turn the conversation to Tilapia (a type of freshwater fish) -- you'll find it's his new hobby.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): You will unearth a small stone figurine, while digging in a garden. If you set it on your television and put a small bowl of fruit in front of it, those unsightly warts should clear up in a week or two.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Good day to buy a stereo microscope, and examine that stuff under your toenail. Well, as good a day as any.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Tomorrow is a good day to wear your lucky Rocketship underwear. Try not to leap into rooms while shouting "Hark!" however.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22):You will be followed by people who look suspiciously like shoe salesmen. Try to remain calm -- they can sense fear.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21):Today you will attempt to capitalize on the success of SPAM by inventing SPEEF. Unfortunately, you would have been much better off trying to make SPICKEN, instead.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You would be ill-advised to try to shoot kidney beans out your nose, today. (Yes, I know you were thinking of it.)

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You will develop the extremely rare "Perkin's Disease", and will start having a strange compulsion to shoot things with tranquilizer darts, or sell insurance. Plus, you will try to trick your friend, "Jim", into wrestling a giant anaconda.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):You will develop a passion for Cajun cuisine, and will refuse to eat anything that hasn't been "blackened". Your family will draw the line at blackened corn flakes, however.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Hmm. Hard to read this one. The carrot stopped right between "catches horrible disfiguring disease" and "loses everything in major earthquake". I guess you can pick whichever one you want, in this case.

Site Maintained By Sableye Oct 1999 - 2011 Privacy Statement