I manage a simple web site for my employer (a small charity),
and owing to the purchase of a domain name I emailed the details of the new URL
to several website owners who were known to have maintained links to us at our
A couple weeks later I received this message:
"Dear John" (my name is not John). "Please send me your
A simple request. The only problem is that we have never carried advertising. I
emailed him back:
"Dear ***, Thanks for your enquiry, but I am afraid that we do not carry
advertising within our website"
"Dear John" (Doh!) "Yes, I would like to advertise on your web
site - please let me know how much it will cost."
I replied in much the same vein as before i.e. We do not carry advertising. We
will never carry advertising. We have never carried advertising. There are no
rates. Go away.
"Dear John" (I'm getting tired of being called John). "I would
like to renew the advertising that I had with you a while back. How much does it
By now I'm getting a little pissed. I reply.
"Dear ***, As I have stated repeatedly, we have never carried advertising
within our website. You cannot therefore renew advertising that we have never
carried. In the unlikely event that we should start to carry advertising in the
future then you will be the first to know, but don't hold your breath. In the
meantime, I would appreciate it if you would stop sending me requests for our
advertising rates. We don't have any. Furthermore, my name is _not_ John (as you
may see by reading the sig at the bottom of every message I have sent)."
Message returns yesterday:
"Dear John" (AAAAAAARGH!). "I enclose my copy for the
(Several hundred swear words deleted.)
"Dear ***, as you obviously do not understand plain English, try this for
size. CONSIDER YOURSELF KILLFILED.
Actually I didn't send that reply - I just wish I had. He has, however, been
added to my bozo list. I wonder if the schlemeil is gonna be visiting the web
site daily, looking for his advertising.......