Once-upon-a-time, there was a
young woman who fell in love with a fish. This caused her
parents some embarrassment when they went to church. When
her father had found out he screamed "What do you
mean she's dating a fish!".
"He's not an ordinary fish
dear, he's one of those anthropomorphic fish, the kind
that talk and take on human characteristics"
"Does he have a job?"
"Well no, but he reads a
lot, and he's very polite. He's really a very nice boy
"He's an unemployed
Eventually the young woman began
to grow unsatisfied with the lack of sex in the
relationship. She was also getting tired of him staying
home all day and reading while she worked all day. The
young woman decided to go to the witch who lived in the
forest, and ask her to turn her fish into a man. So she
took the fish to the witch.
"Well let's see here."
the witch said, looking at the fish "Very nice fish
you got here, nice coloring. I'll take it, now what do
you want?" she asked the young woman.
"This fish and I have
fallen in love and I want you to turn him into a
man." the young woman replied.
"Is this true?" the
witch asked the fish.
"Yes ma'am" smiled the
"Did I do this?" the
witch asked the young woman.
"No, he was always a
"No, what I mean is did I
make you fall in love with the fish? I have a few drinks
now and then, and the next thing you know whole weeks are
blacked out." the witch said.
"I don't think so."
the young woman said.
"O.k., so if I turn this
fish into a man, you go home with a man, and I get to
keep the fish?"
"If you turn the fish into
a man, then there won't be a fish for you to keep, unless
I'm missing something here." said the young woman
with a quizzical look on her face.
"So we need to arrange
another method of payment then?" asked the witch.
"I think so."
"Well o.k., did you bring
any money dear?"
"I'm afraid I'm just a poor
farm girl with no material possessions."
"I'll change the fish into
a man after you have worked for me for a year."
The young woman agreed and went
to work for the witch, sweeping, cooking, and sewing for
the witch. Finally the year passed, and the witch turned
the fish into a tall and handsome man. And so the young
woman and the tall and handsome former fish lived happily
until the tall and handsome former fish left the young
woman for a barmaid with long legs and a learning
Eventually the young woman found
a young man who was slightly younger than her, but
extremely gifted at oral sex and they settled down.
She often thought about the tall
and handsome former fish and how stupid she was. She was
thinking these every thoughts one day while she was
fishing off the bridge. She felt something bite the hook,
and she yanked the poll up. To her surprise, the fish
called out to her "Hey Baby!"
"Not another one!" she
"It's me baby. Don't you
remember? We really had something special!" said the
"What happened to that
barmaid you left me for?" the young woman scowled.
"She left me, and when I
wouldn't leave her alone, she got the witch to turn me
back into fish." said the fish.
"Well come on dear let's
take you to the witch and straighten this out." she
said the fish. And so she took the fish to witch.
"Hello." said the
witch as she answered the door.
"Do you remember me? I
worked for you for a year so that you would turn this
fish into a man. It seems another woman had you turn him
back into a fish." the young woman said to the
"Oh yes I remember, lovely
fish." the witch said.
"Well I'd like to make
another deal with you."
"What would you like
"I'd like to you make my
breasts bigger, and in exchange you can have the
fish." the woman said to the witch.
"Baby! You can't do this to
me, not after all we've meant to each other!"
"Deal." said the
And so the young woman went home
that evening without any fish, but her husband didn't
seem to notice.